The Bleading Edge

Who knew there was a bleading edge of tile? Not me! While I routinely caution my clients about changing to new IT products on the first release I didn't make the translation to tile products. I mean - what is new in tile? Humans have been tiling things for millenniums.

Well so we designed our whole kitchen around this new tile product. Made of 50% post consumer waste (Skye Vodka bottles, thank you!) the salesperson told me that it was a new product and that we had to use their sub contractor to install it because he was TRAINED to install the new product. So the Mark comes over to do the estimate and he's the head of the floor installation company and that's the last I ever see of him.

So they send two guys who have never seen the product before, without the tools they need, who can't read the instructions, with the wrong glue, on a day that is too cold. 10 minutes after they leave the tiles are popping up like toast. So I call the sales rep and say I don't think the floor should be popping up like toast.

Well it turns out they didn't roll the tile with the 150 pound roller, because they didn't have a roller. So I say, get them back here to roll. And they can come the next day to roll. But after 10:00 am because they have to get the roller. Meanwhile the Adhesive is DRYING and it needs to be rolled before the adhesive is DRY. There is 24 hours. Tick Tick Tick.

So Jose and Jose arrive and they have the 150 pound roller. They look at the floor, they try a little rolling, then they pull up two of the worst tiles and say - wow these two tiles have popped up - we can't do anything - We'll come tomorrow - Bye.

Well tomorrow means the adhesive will be dry. I've been assured by the sales rep, the manufacturer and that the best we can do is roll it soon. So I try and get hold of Mark but he's not answering his phone. So I basically tell the guys that they can't go and they have to roll the floor for 15 minutes in a diagonal pattern before they leave. And, while I don't believe in slavery, I basically lock them in the kitchen to roll while I stay outside slavering into my cell phone and pacing. This makes me feel even worse.

So the rolling doesn't do anything and I talk to many people and plan B is warming the tile up and rolling on Wed. At this point I start saying that I actually want people who know what they are doing, I don't want the B team anymore, I want the A team. I am assured that Miguel the supervisor will appear miraculously tomorrow.

The next day (and remember I am working from home for this fiasco because my boss is a sweetie pie, but I'm also not working a lot so I'm losing money) I get one Jose and a guy I assume is Miguel the supervisor so I ask, "Hi are you Miguel?" "No, I am the BROTHER OF MIGUEL." There's a whole lot of "Whose on First" that happens at this point. But basically as this escalates I start to lose it and my basic position is that I am not letting anyone in my kitchen with a blow torch who is not management and certainly not Jose and Brother of Miguel. Actual Miguel is in Ventura and after screaming into two phones - Miguel on one and the president of the flooring company on the other and pacing up and down the street Miguel agrees to actually come to the site. So does the president of the company. Who has been told by Jose and Jose that there is a problem with two tiles and not the ENTIRE FLOOR. The president of the floor company and the sales person both inspect the floor and agree that it was done wrong and that I will wait for Miguel and we will get Miguel's opinion.

Miguel arrives and burns my floor with the blowtorch.

Remodeling!



Beso pops out of the cabinet before the counter is installed, and the wonderful Luis looks around at the kitchen before the tile fiasco.

Oh yeah?

Dogs dogs Dogs dogs DOGS.

There I've mentioned something other than the KITCHEN REMODEL!!!!

More kitchen obsession: Signs

So we now spend all of our time going out to Burbank to go to big box remodeling stores - like this one out by the airport. The mall itself is huge and has tons of big box stores and nice little airplane signs. Of course it is a mile away from another huge mall that has tons of big box stores, including Ikea. Have I mentioned that I hate Ikea? Let me count the ways starting with the fact that they are supposed to be here right now and installing the cabinets. And they are not.



Here I am in the kitchen on the last night before demo - we were of course hosting lovely guests. You can barely see the walls scrawled with sharpie where the counters, appliances and such are supposed to go. We did that in a manic phase with the designer we hired right before she disappeared. Drew on the walls with sharpie. Not the best move. Because we spent a month with sharpie on the walls, feeling like losers. Because I've never remodeled a thing in my life - and I don't know how to do it. (Really thank goddess I am a PMP - it does help!)



Here are the lovely vintage 1974 appliances we are getting rid of. Yes, Virginia, that IS a portable dishwasher.



Here are some demo shots. You can see where we are making the washer dryer cabinet. A sink will go here somewhere. Oh and a non-portable dishwasher. Which will be a drag you know if I was to wash some dishes in the backyard or something - maybe I should upgrade.

360 Days till the Bush Travesty is Over!!!!!!!!

Not that I'm counting!



On the other side of travesty, we are doing a kitchen re-model. So don't say I'm not doing my part for the economy.

Here is a photo of going into the little tiny square opening into the kitchen.

And check out this lovely vintage plastic floor!



Here we look West into the silly unused and unusable nook space. I didn't take a photo of the appliances, they are too sad. My oven can't heat up to any temperature, and the 1974 fridge sucks enough energy off the grid to power a small village in other parts of the world. I got a pamphlet from the electric commpany about how much money you could save if you upgraded the fridge and they had a little chart with the years of your fridge and how much money it takes to run - and it stopped in the 80's. The seventies wasn't even on the chart!

The only good thing about the kitchen is that everything is so old all the VOCs have evaporated. So we shall see what we can do to improve the entire gestalt of the kitchen.

Feijoa

These little guys are falling out of a tree in the backyard - the internet instructions for harvesting say "Shake the tree every couple of days" - well let me tell you they hurt when they fall on your head. Gravity it gets you every time. And so here they are - Feijoas - something I can't pronounce that are edible but odd. It's like that OScar Wilde's quip about fox hunting - the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. In this case it's literally unspeakable and it's vaguely edible.
The garden in general is filled with things to eat - figs, avocados, lemons - but a lot of it is poor quality. I don't know if that's because none of it has been tended, fertilized, taken care of, or if it's old and ready to go. We shall see. But the Meyer Lemon, which the Beloved C. has it out for, has the most lovely smelling flowers and yet the lemons seem to never ripen.

Wine-O-Mat

I've got a new thing to take people to when they visit us in L.A. - the wine-o-mat. Like the automat - a vending machine for food that was popular during the depression, the wine-o-mat is a wine vending machine. So you can sample wines at the wine store. You buy a ticket with a pre-approved amount of money on it and you taste your way through a few wines and so you can try before you buy. And of course, you can try things that you would never actually buy because some wine is just way too expensive. It was totally fun to do. So now you know what you'll be doing if you come for a visit.

Bill T. Jones - Blind Date

So the beloved C. and I went to see the Bill T. Jones/Arnie Zane dance company perform Blind Date at Royce Hall. The parts of the dance were thrilling, the athleticism of the dancers was fantastic. Part of the war/anti war message was lost, but it was great to go out and see old Bill - who can still move.

I would expect this from Huckabee's Wife

A Photo in the LA Times today showed the presidential candidates wives at the Conference on Women that Maria Shriver puts on every year in California as part of Maria's first lady of Cali act. The photo showed Mrs. Thompson (a blonde trophy wife), Cindy McCain (blonde trohpy wife - slightly older version), Mrs. Romney (Mormon version of blonde trophy wife), Elizabeth Edwards (who is also blonde and a real trophy if what one values is guts and intelligence) and Michelle Obama. Michelle was wearing a houndstooth frock that I don't think really suited her.

Anyway the LA Times quoted Elizabeth Edwards as saying:

Scanning the tall, thin women arrayed beside her, Edwards said she was reminded of the "Sesame Street" song lyric:

"One of these things
Is not like the others."
"Everyone is so beautiful," Edwards said. "Which one doesn't belong?"

Okay, so I have to say that I am truly offended by this. They are really going to have to reduce Elizabeth's pain medication if they want her on the campaign trail.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-na-wives24oct24,1,4418492.story