Things I wonder about Career Opportunities

More things I wonder about. Since I'm unemployed I spend time thinking about my career and wondering if anyone will ever employ me as an IT Project Manager, a job for which I am highly qualified since I've been doing it for - oh - let's say 15 years. However, being an IT Project Manager isn't a really glamorous job and while it should pay okay there are more lucrative opportunities to be explored.

For instance, how do you get to be a Cult Leader? L. Ron Hubbard was a pretty awful science fiction writer when he took his science fiction ideas and turned them into a really lucrative cult. He was so successful that the COS pretended he was still alive for years and had other hacks write horrible science fiction stories under his name to continue the franchise. And they figured out how to rig the NY Times best seller list by having their cult members go to bookstores and buy cases of his books, thereby sending him onto the best sellers list.

Or how do you get to be a War Lord? The only qualifications for being a War Lord seems to be having a Toyota Land Cruiser, a bunch of younger cousins and some Kalishnikovs. But being a War Lord allows you to do all sorts of taxation with out representation stuff that lines your coffers. It's pretty lucrative and you get the bonus of having people really really look up to you. It's great for the ego. Now I don't have a bunch of cousins, or a Toyota Land Cruiser and I don't know how to fire a Kalashinikov but if you look at the Al Qaeda in Iraq blooper real apparently Al-Zarqawi doesn't either. I can trade in my Accord for a land cruiser, but I'm still stuck with getting followers. I think that I could probably become a girl scout leader and get a following that way. We could cruise up and down La Cienega, roust the children and nannies in La Cienega Park and demand payment. The girlscouts offer the "experience of a lifetime" while learning about the power of girls, I say let's learn about the power of girls bearing semi-automatic weapons in land cruisers! Imagine what money we can make when we turn over parks to opium poppy production! It's so much better to buy local produce!